May 2nd -Yom HaShoah.  We had to run to get to our spot because the Southern Region was given the honor of marching in front. Standng there, I heard people singing. I asked myself, "We are supposed to be in mourning. How could they be singing?" Then I remembered Rabbi Lew's story of the man who wrote the tune for a prayer while in a cattle car. I began to sing along.  The song was "Eli Eli".  We walked through the town of Auschwitz. Helicopters flew above, reporters shot their cameras, townspeople watched as we did our march.  At Auschwitz I saw the infamous "Work Makes You Free" sign.  At Birkenau, I saw the train tracks leading to the entrance. We toured it, seeing the Nazi's children's swimming pools, the latrines, and the bunkers.  We saw where the gas chambers were burnt down, and the ash pits outside.  As marchers continued to walk in Rabbi Lew told us the story about a twin who went on the March a few years ago. This twin's experience was literally a reliving of the horrors of the Holocaust. Whatever caused his emotions also caused him to find bones in the pitch black latrine.  The person didn't even remember any of his reactions when Rabbi Lew asked him about it later. Rabbi Lew told us to think about our brothers and sisters.  This is what got me: I remembered Todd and how he would have never lasted.  I lost it. I started crying and wanted to find my mom and hug her.

May 4th Majdanek- a labor and death camp. We passed through and went into some bunkers used for storage. They were so big and there were so many for underwear, pots..... We went into one and saw shoes displayed in cages. I went around and touched a few of the shoes. One bright red shoe stood out against the old tattered, and decaying shoes. I remember the story of the woman who attributes her survival to her shoes.  Then we went to the ovens. Gas chambers which were blue because of the gasses they used. I felt sick when seeing them. Chills, I literally felt colder than it was outside. Then we walked to a pit of ashes. Jews were reduced to tons of ashes and bones. I couldn't bear to look at it. I tried turning around and looking the other direction, but I couldn't bear to look at the grass either because I knew those ashes were used to fertilize that grass.  Today was the worst.

 

May 6th - I will now write about Auschwitz, which was a few days ago. When I was there, I felt such a disconnect.  It was set up like a museum with display cases and pictures. There were gallows near the roll call area for people who stepped out of line. There were also other gallows around the camp. We walked to the doctor area where Hannah's grandfather worked. We walked to the shooting area, which was between the twin's barracks and the political prison. The twin's windows were covered as not to show them the events. The prisoners were forced to waqtch though. When we went to the "showers" and gas chamber, I felt sick. You could clearly see the scratch marks of the people trying to escape. We walked into the gas chambers and Rabbi Lew told us to listen to those who prayed in their last moments. We started to sing Ani Ma'amim.

At Birkenau it was dreary and cool. At Majdanek it poured, thundered, and hailed as we started walking into camp. At Plazcow it was drizzling. At Auschwitz though, it was sunny. That may be part of why I felt such a disconnect. The weather was perfect. Along with flowers.  We ate lunch under a tree on the grass right outside of Auschwitz. I was enjoying lunch, having fun, and turned around. That is when I remembered where we were: Auschwitz. I was mortified.

 

Sara Besmertnik