Walking through Auschwitz and Birkenau, the first death camps we visited, I felt insignificant, helpless, and distant to all that had taken place there. I felt the evil- still present today- tugging at my soul. It’s hard to stay in a place such as Auschwitz, where over a million Jews were murdered because of their identity. But even that identity was taken away before they perished and were reduced to a mere number. It was a chilling feeling, and a gloomy atmosphere.
As I began to think that the reality of this was too much for me, something caught my eye. A flash of blue and white in the distance, high in the air. A flag that looked strangely familiar. Then I was back, back to reality, back to today, and instead of feeling hopeless and weak I began to feel strong and renewed and my body refreshed. I never knew that a flag could make such a difference, but in a place such as Auschwitz, the Israeli flag flying high in the air, meant triumph.
A few days later, upon visiting Tikocyn, Poland, I found myself at the edge of some woods, although I didn’t know what I was visiting. We had just approached an opening to a trail on what seemed like a deserted road. As we got off the bus, I braced myself for a hard hit. It’s difficult to describe the woods, as they were the most mysterious, enchanting woods I had ever seen. The sun’s rays fell through the canopy lighting up parts of the ground while leaving the other parts shaded. It was surreal as I felt total peace and serenity walking into the woods, but it almost seemed too much. The beauty was overwhelming and I struggled to imagine that such atrocities took place here. It seemed so open and free until I saw the fenced off areas for the mass graves- but who could tell? Overgrown by grass this place of death had been replenished and renewed with a fresh layer of life. The woods were so majestic. It was a shock to think of what occurred here. Innocent lives taken- mothers, fathers, brothers, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. All together. Tears streamed down my face as I wept for those whose bodies lay deep in the soil.
At times, the Holocaust felt distant and far, but also at times it felt very close. I realized that it really wasn’t that long ago that my family was in these camps. It’s hard to believe that death camps like Majdanek are left today, still totally intact. My memories at Majdanek are almost too awful and painful to describe so I’d rather describe the impact it had on my arrival in Israel. Majdanek was the lowest of the lows and standing in front of the giant overwhelming ash pit, I wept more than I ever had in my entire life. Over 70 tons of ashes lie in this pit. Who were these people? It was here I truly felt the pain of six million Jews.
By then I hated Poland and everything about it. Straight from Majdanek, we boarded the plane set for Israel. As the plane slowly made its descent in Tel Aviv my heart began beating faster and faster. Everything started to fall into place and for the first time on the trip I felt at peace with myself. As we landed, strong feelings of joy and jubilation overwhelmed my senses. It’s difficult to describe how happy I was as tears of joy welled up in my eyes and I knew I was finally home. Israel is a home to me and will always be home for the Jewish people. As soon as I got off the plane, I joined others bending down, kissing the holy ground.
The beauty of Israel cannot be compared to the beauty of any other place in the world. I seized every single moment of my visit there to enjoy the surroundings and take in the wonderful feelings of belonging. In Jerusalem, as I a marched with thousands of other Jewish teens to the Kotel, the air was dense with “ruach” or spirit. Never before have I felt so unified with a place and people. Never before have I wanted to run and jump and yell with joy and sing with all my might and soul. All around me people spoke in all different languages and I couldn’t understand a word. Yet, as soon as we heard the words AM YISRAEL CHAI…we began to sing as one, and we chanted those powerful words “the Jewish nation lives”- together.
I took away many special lessons from this trip and I feel like there is one that everyone here can relate to. Always remember that each life is precious. No matter Jew or gentile, every person is an individual and each life should be cherished. In just two weeks, my outlook on life has changed and today, I encourage you to cherish your own friends and family and thank G-d for the blessing of life. I’d like to thank Hadassah for honoring me today and giving me the opportunity to tell you about my experience on March of the Living. The idea of “chesed” is very important to me and has always played a big part of my family and upbringing. Learning about the countless acts of kindness that saved many Jews during the holocaust has further inspired me to continue the Jewish tradition of chesed in my life and in years to come.
Nicole Reisman (Riverwood 2007)